I am human too.

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently.

My idea on friendships used to be simple. As long as we're happy when we spend time together, have fun together, and no misunderstandings happen between us, we're good.

But now, i have a different view on friendship. Will they betray me? Do they respect me as a friend? Do they talk to me only when they need me? Are they backstabbing me when i'm not with them?

Maybe i've been through all of this without being able to actually answer any of the questions. Do i feel tired? Yes. I feel like i'm going through it everyday. And i try to forget it every time. Pretending that it's okay when it isn't.

Some might feel that i'm pretentious for not telling how i really feel. But sometimes i wish someone would try to listen to me. At least once in a while.I may be a good listener, but i'm human too. I have my feelings, my regrets, my worries and my joy. I might not be able to express myself well but i hope that you have that patience to deal with me. I just want to share my petty problems like everyone else.

There were so many times that i tried so hard to keep the tears to myself. I barely did it today. I'm not sure if i myself should be the one to blame. I try not to be selfish. I tried to be understanding. But sometimes i don't get it. Is it that hard to understand me?

I don't know if this post is fueled by my disappointment today or the thoughts that i've gathered all these years with people that i know. I'll continue to be how i am today, and continue to find the solution in becoming a better person and friend. And I really thank God for making me a forgetful person. Things that happened too long, bad feelings that i festered on someone, everything can be swept away easily. Maybe i'm just too weak to keep the vengeful feelings for too long.

I should go now. Maybe cry a few buckets so that i can move on. Can't keep it in any longer.

Yellow Fever !

Heyyy i'm back ! After 3 months of hiatus (i know you guys missed me xP ) i'm finally inspired to update my blog again !!! (I know i'm such an unmotivated person). ANYWAY....i definitely have a good reason to blog about today ! And guess what i'm going to talk about?

Hehe...i bet you guys know by now. I'm going to talk about BERSIH !!

I'm sure most of you will know what's Bersih about...unless you're on internet everyday and all you did was just playing games or chat and you don't give a damn to even read a single news in the past 2 weeks. Which is sad. So this is exactly why you should read this post even more. I DARE YOU TO !

Now let's forget about me being pushy earlier (i can't stand ignorant people so don't blame me >.<" ) and let me simplify everything for you what Bersih is about.


1. The Coalition for Clean and Fair Elections (aka Bersih 2.0) organised a rally to promote democracy and to demand for electoral reform. Go google those words coz it's time you know them.

The Bersih rally has 8 immediate demands :

a) Clean the electoral roll - why? there's so many dead people who are still voting for BN. A person who is 131 years old for example. Why didn't they get themselves into Guiness World Records then? And an address that has 88 people living in it. Unless you've got a house the size of Buckhingham and 4 wives having 22 children each, all over 21 years of age, that might be possible .

b) Reform postal ballot - Same problem . People from overseas automatically vote for BN. Like, seriously?

c) Use of indelible ink - So that 'some people' can't tamper with the votes by 'erasing' and marking for the other party.

d) Minimum 21 days of campaign period - The opposition has sufficient time to do their campaign, so it is fair for both parties to reach out to voters.

e) Free and fair access to media - A huge problem in Malaysia. All the local news (be it tv, radio and newspaper) are controlled by the government. There is no such thing as unbiased reporting. Since poor people can't afford cable tv like Astro, or even internet line, the only news they get are all pro-government mainstream media. And 60% of Malaysians earn below average wages.

f) Strengthen public institution - Public institution such as judiciary board and police force are not politicised. It means they do not get orders or influenced by any political group.

g) Stop corruption - Like electric bill going up as high as RM170,000 per month, or official trips costs up to RM48 million in 3 years, or buying a ring that costs RM73 million. Damn i would love to be the PM's wife !

h) Stop dirty politics - Using dirty tactics to sway voters from their rival candidate. Like creating scandals (literally) or defamation at the highest level.

So this is the simple version of what happened after Bersih 2.0 announced the date for the rally.

~ Bersih announced 9 July 2011 as the date for the rally

~ Government announced it as illegal and organise mass breakdown on Bersih organisers

~ People found wearing Bersih t-shirt were arrested

~ Bersih office was raided without a warrant. Laptops, t-shirts, banners and documents were seized

~ Government linked Bersih to 'reviving communism', instigation chaos, racial riot, backed by Christian Jewish etc

~ Local media was ordered to warn people to not participate in the rally, but was not allowed to use the name Bersih . The term 'illegal rally' was used instead

~ The King interfered as the government and Bersih committee cannot reach an agreement. The King ordered the both parties to sort their differences

~ Najib agreed by letting Bersih have their demonstration in a stadium instead of taking the streets. Ambiga, Chairman of Bersih 2.0 agreed. Supporters, not so happy ( including me D: )

~ Hisham, Minister of Home Affairs, insists that Bersih is illegal and had police force go all the way to prevent supporters from taking part in the rally, including conducting road blocks in major highways and halting sales of bus tickets entering the city 2 days before the rally

~ Police claimed to have found some parangs and molotov cocktails in plastic bottles along with Bersih t-shirts during road blocks.

~ Request to use Stadium Merdeka was rejected, claiming that they're undergoing renovation and clean up after Justin Bieber's concert. (Seriously?!?)

~ Ambiga insisted that the rally goes on, meeting point will be outside of Stadium Merdeka. Finally got a permit for the rally

~ Roads to the city were closed on 9th July starting at 12am. Police raids hotel rooms for supporters and Bersih t-shirts

~ Arrests starts at 11am around KL area. A few hundred people including children are caught

~ Supporters of Bersih started coming in groups from all sides of Petaling Street/Puduraya/Masjid Jamek area. Police tried dispersing supporters with chemical water cannon and tear gases.

~ Supporters at Puduraya trapped on both sides. Crowds started heading into Tung Shin Hospital for shelter when FRU started firing tear gases.

~ Police force threw tear gas and fired water cannon into the hospital compound. They then barged into the hospital and started arresting supporters

~ Leaders coming out of KL Sentral was greeted by tear gas and water cannon. Anwar was hit with a tear gas canister and brought into Hilton for treatment

~ Groups merge and make their way to Stadium Merdeka. Another group gathered outside KLCC. A total of about 50,000 supporters were estimated.

~ Some leaders were caught after trying to discuss with the police to guide peaceful protesters to the stadium grounds. Other leaders including A. Samad Said marched towards Istana Negara to hand the memorandum.

~ The demonstration was dispersed peacefully by the supporters around 4pm. However police force were seen chasing people around with batons, and another round of tear gases were fired.

~ A total of about 1400 people were caught. Police claim that detainees were treated well with a buffet style dinner prepared for them.

Okay maybe you guys got tired of reading but that is the summary for the Bersih event. If you wanted to know more you can go to http://www.bersih.org or bersih's official facebook page

I'll stop right here before you guys fall asleep :P

Money Money Money !!

I just realised that I do not have enough money to spend !! It's not like I wanted to splurge on anything but paying for all the basic fees + courses took almost everything i earned for this month T.T

It's not that I don't have enough money to survive...but I'm saving for my upcoming trip ! I've been waiting to go for a trip for such a looooooooooooong time so I don't care if i have to starve for it !! (okay I sound desperate but I don't care what you think ! xP)

So for now, my loyal companion would be Maggi....Maggi mee that is.

Hopefully I can overcome this month without spending much on food alone ( sorry mum you'll have to spend more money on my portion of food this month =x )

p/s : I'm so sorry to everyone who kept asking me to go karaoke, watch movie, yum cha with them...I can't do much with my salary this month but I'll make it up to you next month k ?? >.<

R.I.P, Mr Vejayan

This post is a dedication to a great figure in my life, Mr. Vejayan.

Mr. Vejay was one of my favourite teachers back in secondary school. He teaches Sejarah, one of the most boring subjects you can get. But boring is not what you'll think of when you're in his class.

It's been almost 5 years since i left secondary school, but i can never forget this teacher. For 4 years i've been dreading Sejarah coz either the teacher sucked at getting our attention or they're totally boring. But not Mr. Vejay. He totally changed my perspective on Sejarah teachers.

His signature phrase, 'Santa Maria Mama Mia chiwawa ya ma chi chi' is well known to every of his students. He may look strict as a discipline teacher, but in class he threw it away and becomes your best friend. Sometimes i slept in his class and when i wake up he'll say "Good morning Suk Yeng!". He was the one who managed to change my grade from D7 to A2 in SPM.

But i guess the students now will not be able to get the chance to study under this amazing teacher.

Mr. Vejay passed away this morning due to liver cancer. It was said that he went for a check up but God took him away even before he receive his health report. It might have been too late for him but maybe God did not want him to suffer.

To those who want to pay your last respects, you can contact any of the our SMKSS teachers (Pn. Toh, Ms. Kok etc.) or 03-22825836 . The address is 56, Jalan Limau Nipis, Bangsar Park. Funeral will be held at 2pm.

My deepest condolences to Mr. Vejay's family and may he rest in peace.

Youtube's Latest Sensation?

There are so many videos on Youtube that are totally ridiculous, doesn't make any sense and downright stupid. Most of them don't really make it pass 1mil mark, let alone 10mil. To those videos that did, they would have to be somewhat witty, amazing or funny to the max. Lame videos? Not so. But this video...it made me speechless.

I'm speechless not because it's so freaking amazing. It's because of the view counts. 21mil and counting in less than a MONTH !!! You must be wondering who the hell this person is for getting so much attention in such a short time. Nope it's not Justin Bieber.

It's Rebecca Black.

I stumbled upon my friend's fb status saying that she's the worse singer of the century. So i checked it out and guess what? He's totally right !! (Though lame's a better word to describe her). I....I just can't describe it through words so just check the video out alright?

Now here's what i think after watching this video:

1) Why in the world is this video so famous?

2) What the hell is she singing? I hate the lyrics ! It doesn't freaking rhyme and it's not even funny.

3) Is that what you call singing nowadays? Her range in this song is only like, an octave apart?

4) What are these kids doing with a car? They don't look old enough to drive one.

But hey, what if this video didn't contain any of these elements? Maybe she would just go unnoticed in this massive online video site. Good for her, too bad for the viewers. I bet you wished you didn't watch this video and contributed your views on her videos.

*Sorry if i made you watch this. I just need someone else to understand how i feel by wasting 4 minutes of my life watching this stupid video. Ugh.*

Appreciation.

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick

The easiest way to test if someone really appreciate you is by volunteering. Volunteering basically means offering what you can do to make a difference to others without expecting any rewards in return.

I was approached by my friend about volunteering for a radio station. The idea of working for a radio station sounds very appealing to me, especially when it's related to the music industry. At first i agreed as i would love to have some sort of experience in this field. But another thought struck my mind. Would i get paid for this?

Now i know that volunteering and getting paid doesn't really go together. But what if your service actually gives profit to the company? And to think that i would have to sacrificed some of my time for someone else's profit does bother me a little, though my friend assured me that we volunteers will get paid when profits are rolling in.

At this point, whether i'm getting paid or not is not my main concern. Being appreciated is. For me, appreciation is one of the most sought after rewards to volunteers. Rewards does not mean in the form of money or valuables. A simple thank you or gestures that makes you feel appreciated are priceless.

But now i feel like my efforts are not being put to good use. Yes, i might not have any experiences, but i did try my best to do what i can to help. You asked for my help, and i did. But if you're not ready to accept any of my hard work, please do not waste my precious time. I'm not really sure what kind of situation you're in right now, but make sure that you appreciate every volunteers that are doing their best to help.

I've already spent so much time doing research, recordings, travelling, and even some of my sleeping time just to make it right. And now our program is on hold? If you think there's a problem why made us do so much at one time? Why say nothing when we asked for opinions?

I'm not asking much from you but i hope you can do something to improve this situation. Think about how you deal with people. Think about how you manage a business. Think about what you wanted to achieve in the first place, not based on what you can get. This is not only about you, coz you can never do this if you're alone. I believe i'm not the only one waiting for that change to happen.

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. ~William James

Stress !!!

I've seriously never met someone so 'batu api' as her ! I mean, wtf is wrong with her? Gaji tak cukup or you're just trying to ruin my life? If you're a fucking Buddhist you shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff. Do unto others as others unto you ! But you never learn don't you? Nevermind, God will definitely have His way of punishing people like you !

p/s: I need someone to yum cha with me like, anytime from now =.="